Tag Archives: time out

Oh yeah did I mention I’m on holidays?

It may have slipped my mind to share this, lordy knows how that happened because I am so damn excited about it!  As you read this I’ll be in the air flying to China.  SANS CHILDREN AND SPOUSE!  Alone.

After almost a decade of no time to myself, here I am sitting on a plane not having to care about anyones welfare except my own.  I don’t have to wipe anyone else’s shitty bum until the end of the month.  Hot damn.  I’ll probably spend the first day in a daze wondering what the hell I can do with myself, how will I know what I can do for myself after not being able to for so long?  I have only one suitcase and a small carry on, neither of those bags contain anything resembling a baby product – this feels strange – I feel under prepared.  But I’m sure I’ll get used to it ;)

I’ll be in a Facebook and Twitter free zone, thanks to Chinas internet firewall.  This can only be a good thing for me.

I’ve tried my best to learn some Mandarin (falling asleep with the language lesson playing) and so far I have thank you and where is the toilet down.  That’ll be enough right?  Who cares, I don’t have to worry about anyone but me!  I can be late, eat whatever is put in front of me and spend an hour longer looking for the hotel than I meant to.

If I return, I shall have lots and lots of pictures to bore you all with.  Wish me luck!

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Filed under Holidays, Travel


Have you ever have one of those days at home with the kids, where they are just absolute terrors, and they just keep getting into mischief.  Just one thing after the other, on a loop.  You find yourself counting the hours till the Husband comes home, hours, minutes, seconds.  Someone to tag in and take the reins for a while.  I know you have.

Today was one of those days.  It doesn’t help that I’ve been sick with the flu for over a week now.  All week I just been hanging on, I knew that there was one day this weekend that the Husband would be home, and I could have one day not having to be the one on the job.

Alas it was not to be.  Now this is probably the flu talking, but when the Husband strolled in the door at four o’clock this afternoon, it took a lot of self-control not hop into a car and drive to the nearest hotel with room service, and check in there for the rest of the week.  Still pondering that option now as I type, but I’m just too tired to go pack my crap.

I had sat down to write something tonight, but tired brain rot has sucked out my writing mojo, and really what am I doing blogging?  Not really sure where I was going with this post, but this is time I could be finally having a hot bath.  Later people.


Filed under Rants & Stuff

Dear Husband…

Dear, Dearest Husband,
I am writing this to you so that when it comes to my committal hearing there will be a paper trail. But I am getting ahead of myself.

Dear Husband.  I am tired.  More than tired, completely and utterly exhausted. 
I would love to think that you are unaware of this fact, but I know you are, and have been for some years now. Dear Husband. The novelty has worn off the “I just don’t hear the kids” excuse, and shine has really come off the “but you’re the one with breasts” excuse too.  And I’m sorry the “I’ve worked hard all day” excuse isn’t going to wash either, dear Husband. You forget until last year I did the same job, yeah you ain’t fooling anyone with that line. Hard work, pfffft.

So here’s the deal, dear Husband. 
One day very soon I plan on going to sleep, and yes it will be for the whole day.
And here is what I expect from you dear Husband.

  1. You will not make it so that at least half of the children are crying at the same time.
  2. You will not spend the day telling the children “Shut up you’ll wake your mother”.  As that is all I will hear.
  3. You will not come and wake me to cook certain foods because “The kids only eat it when you cook it”
  4. Nor do I want to be woken for meals. I shall be taking to bed with supplies of chocolate.
  5. You will answer the children when they speak to you. If they have to say your name more than three times they will come looking for me. This is not acceptable.
  6. You are to remain awake for the whole day. I appreciate that you have an outstanding talent for falling asleep anywhere anytime, despite having had oodles of sleep.  But I will not be able to relax wondering if you’ve parked your carcass on the couch to snooze in front of the telly. I will be checking the couch for ass dents on waking.
  7. I don’t want to get up and have to feed and change all the children or find them in the same outfits they got up in. 
  8. Nor do I want to find the house a mess or things (especially my things) broken, the lame ass and often used “I was only out of the room for a second” excuse will not wash.

These are my demands Dear Husband – consider yourself lucky there are not more – I could expect you to do everything that I have to do in a day.  All you need to do is keep the kids alive and keep them clean, I don’t think I’m asking for much.  All these kids were your idea I recall.

…… end rant…..


Filed under Husbands, Rants & Stuff

Things that happen when you go to the bathroom…

It’s not just the obvious stuff that goes down while you are indisposed, if you know what I mean. 

A lot can happen in those meager moments that a Mother has alone.  Here’s a few examples of what goes on around here when I take a ‘moment’.

  • The children suddenly decide they are ravenous and start bringing you items of food to open while you are ‘indisposed’.
  • Or they decide to feed themselves and break a dozen eggs on the kitchen floor, they then track the sticky raw egg all through the house in an effort to find mummy first so they can dob on each other.
  • A small child almost always gets hold of the most breakable or precious item you own, race into the bathroom and waves it at you (just out of reach) and takes off, and always at that moment where you just can’t stand up straight away and grab it.
  • They will get hold of their older sisters markers and draw all over any paperwork you may have left sitting anywhere. Sorry Mr Taxman that big ass scribble on my last lodgement really isn’t what I think of you… much.
  • If they don’t draw on paperwork they will draw on the walls, and even the front of the fridge.
  • They will turn on all the hot plates on the stove top, even if you have a gate on your kitchen which you KNOW you closed and latched before attempting to have a moment.
  • The children will attempt to make their escape outdoors.  Especially if you need a longer ‘moment’ than usual, and it is raining outside.
  • Toddlers will disembowel your purse and secrete the contents in their toy box, seldom noticed till you are at the shops and you open up – an empty purse.
  • And if all else fails they will come into the bathroom and watch you. But at least you know what they’re up to. ;)

I could go on.  I’ve considered some kind of penning set up for them so I can go to bathroom without the worry of the house being torched in my absence, but it seems that they are getting way too clever.  Maybe a need to throw a heap of lollies in the air in the middle of the lounge room and dash to the loo during the rumble that will follow.  Would tethering them to something be out of the question?  I just can’t hold ‘it’ all day until another responsible adult enters the fray.  I use the term responsible very loosely.

What have your kids done while you’ve been busy?


Filed under Moments, Rants & Stuff, The Kids

Time Out

It occurred to me today that I seem to be harbouring a somewhat psychotic desire for time out.  I worked that the only time I’ve had more than an hour away from the kids in the last few years is either while unconscious or while in labour, just when I finally relax somebody hands me a kid. Ge’ez… ah only kidding… really I am.

Now I mentioned this to the husband recently. I asked him if he ever felt the need to get away from the house.  An absolutely loaded question, but you see I was setting the scene for me to ask/demand/beg for some time out.   This is because I know he isn’t going to say no, as he does get time out be it for work (which some may say isn’t time out, yeah right it isn’t!) or when he goes shooting and whatever.  He gets to go to these things without children and have adult conversations.  That is one of the big things I miss about working, the phrase “have you got a poopy bottom” doesn’t have to enter my vernacular for a day.  Anyway he says and I quote “I don’t know about you but I enjoy spending time with all these little people”, and gives me a look that said “I know where this is going, let’s just hope that statement puts breaks on the train wreck conversation I know is to follow”.  Sorry that train has left the station a long time ago.

While I agree with him, yeah sure I love the kids lot’s and lot’s and whatever.  I tried to impress upon him how my efforts to have some time alone, have been thwarted each time I organise something.  Usually by him, but I didn’t mention that.  I am starting to feel like I have not been able to have any time to recover from injuries, giving birth, having surgery and running our children around for their appointments, and this is just the last three months! 

He doesn’t get it.  I’m going to have resort to desperate measures I think.  Going to have to run away, just for a day, somewhere expensive.

The problem I have is the more time goes on that I don’t get a moment alone the more angry I get about it, and this in itself cannot be a good thing.  I am getting a tad resentful.  This has to be rectified and soon, not sure how though.  It doesn’t help that this tin pot town of ours has nothing in it to do, nor does anywhere for a few hours drive around it, and I am not a gun nut.  I actually had an opportunity to have some time to myself last Sunday (which husband soon fucked up by being late home as usual) but what was the point, the only place I could go was the supermarket. *sigh*

I can’t even get one leg shaved without someone wandering in or hearing the sounds of something breaking somewhere in the house.  I have a cold right now, and am feeling a bit woe is me, so I needed to have a poor me rant.  I want someone to make me soup and bring fresh tissues.

Must enter into more ‘discussions’ with the Husband about this when not snotty and feverish.  So if this entry makes no sense, it’s because I am slightly stoned on cold tablets.

 ….end rant…


Filed under Husbands, Rants & Stuff