Tag Archives: time out

A little still life from my desk…

Still was originally published on Candy’s Family

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by | January 2, 2015 · 12:11 pm

Turns out, I’m not as clever as Macgyver.

EVERY now and then we should all take a little time out to think about things; to put aside the smart phone and look around. Quite often this is something I don’t have time to do but recently the opportunity arose. I found myself given a moment to stop and consider the big questions from my roof top after my four year old moved the ladder.

As I sat up there for a while sans phone or anything to throw on the neighbour’s roof, I thought of so many things I hadn’t had the chance to ponder before. Things like how was I going to get down and what possible threat I could make that would bring the boy back with the ladder. I wondered what happened to those negotiator skills I used to have and could I fashion some kind of abseiling kit from the television antenna cable?

I know MacGyver would be all over that. Then it hit me…  click HERE to read the whole story.

The above is an excerpt from my column that you can find at the Goulburn Post.

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Filed under Complaints Dept, My Column, Rants & Stuff, The Kids

Oh yeah did I mention I’m on holidays?

It may have slipped my mind to share this, lordy knows how that happened because I am so damn excited about it!  As you read this I’ll be in the air flying to China.  SANS CHILDREN AND SPOUSE!  Alone.

After almost a decade of no time to myself, here I am sitting on a plane not having to care about anyones welfare except my own.  I don’t have to wipe anyone else’s shitty bum until the end of the month.  Hot damn.  I’ll probably spend the first day in a daze wondering what the hell I can do with myself, how will I know what I can do for myself after not being able to for so long?  I have only one suitcase and a small carry on, neither of those bags contain anything resembling a baby product – this feels strange – I feel under prepared.  But I’m sure I’ll get used to it ;)

I’ll be in a Facebook and Twitter free zone, thanks to Chinas internet firewall.  This can only be a good thing for me.

I’ve tried my best to learn some Mandarin (falling asleep with the language lesson playing) and so far I have thank you and where is the toilet down.  That’ll be enough right?  Who cares, I don’t have to worry about anyone but me!  I can be late, eat whatever is put in front of me and spend an hour longer looking for the hotel than I meant to.

If I return, I shall have lots and lots of pictures to bore you all with.  Wish me luck!

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Filed under Holidays, Travel

Tired.

Have you ever have one of those days at home with the kids, where they are just absolute terrors, and they just keep getting into mischief.  Just one thing after the other, on a loop.  You find yourself counting the hours till the Husband comes home, hours, minutes, seconds.  Someone to tag in and take the reins for a while.  I know you have.

Today was one of those days.  It doesn’t help that I’ve been sick with the flu for over a week now.  All week I just been hanging on, I knew that there was one day this weekend that the Husband would be home, and I could have one day not having to be the one on the job.

Alas it was not to be.  Now this is probably the flu talking, but when the Husband strolled in the door at four o’clock this afternoon, it took a lot of self-control not hop into a car and drive to the nearest hotel with room service, and check in there for the rest of the week.  Still pondering that option now as I type, but I’m just too tired to go pack my crap.

I had sat down to write something tonight, but tired brain rot has sucked out my writing mojo, and really what am I doing blogging?  Not really sure where I was going with this post, but this is time I could be finally having a hot bath.  Later people.

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Filed under Rants & Stuff

Dear Husband…

Dear, Dearest Husband,
I am writing this to you so that when it comes to my committal hearing there will be a paper trail. But I am getting ahead of myself.

Dear Husband.  I am tired.  More than tired, completely and utterly exhausted. 
I would love to think that you are unaware of this fact, but I know you are, and have been for some years now. Dear Husband. The novelty has worn off the “I just don’t hear the kids” excuse, and shine has really come off the “but you’re the one with breasts” excuse too.  And I’m sorry the “I’ve worked hard all day” excuse isn’t going to wash either, dear Husband. You forget until last year I did the same job, yeah you ain’t fooling anyone with that line. Hard work, pfffft.

So here’s the deal, dear Husband. 
One day very soon I plan on going to sleep, and yes it will be for the whole day.
And here is what I expect from you dear Husband.

  1. You will not make it so that at least half of the children are crying at the same time.
  2. You will not spend the day telling the children “Shut up you’ll wake your mother”.  As that is all I will hear.
  3. You will not come and wake me to cook certain foods because “The kids only eat it when you cook it”
  4. Nor do I want to be woken for meals. I shall be taking to bed with supplies of chocolate.
  5. You will answer the children when they speak to you. If they have to say your name more than three times they will come looking for me. This is not acceptable.
  6. You are to remain awake for the whole day. I appreciate that you have an outstanding talent for falling asleep anywhere anytime, despite having had oodles of sleep.  But I will not be able to relax wondering if you’ve parked your carcass on the couch to snooze in front of the telly. I will be checking the couch for ass dents on waking.
  7. I don’t want to get up and have to feed and change all the children or find them in the same outfits they got up in. 
  8. Nor do I want to find the house a mess or things (especially my things) broken, the lame ass and often used “I was only out of the room for a second” excuse will not wash.

These are my demands Dear Husband – consider yourself lucky there are not more – I could expect you to do everything that I have to do in a day.  All you need to do is keep the kids alive and keep them clean, I don’t think I’m asking for much.  All these kids were your idea I recall.

…… end rant…..

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Filed under Husbands, Rants & Stuff