Recently I found myself afforded a kid free day, so I did what any other mother that has not had time alone for many a moon does. No I didn’t hit the sauce, tempting as that may be. I went out to get a bra fitting done, which is a massive luxury for me, yeah I know excitement plus.
So I took myself off to our spanky new department store and their very swish bra fitting rooms. I’d chosen a couple of pretty bras before I walked in, in my usual size and a cup smaller. It’s been years since I’d worn a bra that looked even remotely foxy. But I’ve lost some weight recently, guess where? Yeah in the place you’d like it to stay. The fitting lady comes in and measures me up and declares me to be two cup sizes bigger than the size I normally wear, and a rib cage size smaller. A 14DD really?! Ok you’re the expert lady. So I wait topless in the little change room, while she sets out in search of bras that meet my measurements.
She returned with five bras in hand, not one of them could get around me. As I blush from the boobs up, she whips out the tape just to check she got the measurement right. Apparently she did. Perplexed she heads out for more bras, this time she comes back with another five in sizes ranging from 14 to 18. None of these fit right either. By now she was looking more embarrassed than me, and confessed that the sizing standard measurements seldom match up to what is on the shelf anymore.
See, this is why clothes shopping is not fun anymore. Actually I find it to be quite the soul sucking exercise. Despite my arse being a standard australian size 14, I can find myself having to try on sizes 12,14,16,18,20. In one store a 12 may fit and in another it’s a size 18, and it’s not just clothing. Last week I was buying shoes for my three year old, and after measuring his little foot with that metal thingy, the assistant gets out shoes in the size and discovered they were an inch longer than his foot!
Getting back to my blushing breasts… Eventually, after an hour trying on fifteen bras, we found one that fitted. A 16E from the super sized boulder holder section, designed to minimize and definitely not be seen. Well that was fun.
Do men have this problem? I don’t think they do, because if they did there would’ve been a commission by now and an enforced standardized sizing nation wide. Womens clothing sizes are meaningless, and probably based on an excess supply of labels of a certain size the manufacturer had to get rid of. Or they just make this shit up as they go along.
While I’m complaining about clothing, what is the story with fake pockets on womens clothing? I bought some jeans recently and went to put some change in the pocket only to discover that they were fake pockets! In jeans?! Who thinks to put fake pockets in jeans, they still had to go the effort of sewing the bit that looks like a pocket. Why not go the tiny next step, and not sew the opening together? I can understand that a pocket may change the tailored shape of a garment, but if I want to walk around with lumpy bits its my choice.
While I do realize that there are far more pressing issues for women right now, my time is precious and I don’t want to spend it in search of clothing that fits.