Tag Archives: Rants

by | April 11, 2013

Today only, an AMAZING deal!

Dear Drivers, I’d like to introduce you to a nifty little gadget.  It’s a one of a kind, why didn’t anyone think of it before sort of invention that makes you wonder how you ever did without it before.

This innovation can save you hundreds or even thousands off your next smash repair bill, because the use of this fabulous little device can help you avoid a smash altogether. But what’s that I hear you say? You have so many buttons to push in your car already, you just don’t know how on earth you could coordinate using another one?  Well I have exciting news for you, this device can be operated with just your pinkie! How effortless is that.I know what your thinking.  Where can I obtain such a marvelous device? And just too excite you even more, for today only you can get two for the price of one.  That’s right, one for the left and right side of your vehicle, and it can be fitted to any kind of vehicle.

But hold your horses, and put down that phone, because you’re not going to believe what I’m going to tell you next.  If you have a vehicle then chances are you already own this amazing invention and didn’t know it!  Head out to your car and hop in the drivers seat and take a look behind the steering wheel, can you see two levers (I know! Where on earth did they come from?! The sales guy never mentioned those things! Maybe they appeared in the last software update?) Push the lever down and you’ll see a flashing light on the dash (it’s ok it is supposed to do that) now hop out and check out the front and back of the car.  How awesome are those matching flashing lights?  Those lights are called indicators and let everyone know where you are going, and it is the done thing to use them when going around corners.

Right now indicators are totally on trend, and now that you’ve got your own fabulous flashing indicators you’ll be on your way in up to date style.  Tell your friends, because everyone will want to know where you found yours.

Still not convinced? Then check out this amazing indicator action below, totally pimps my ride don’tcha think? And I just love to be seen accessorising ;)

Flashing fantastic!

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by | April 2, 2013

Feeling blue about Autism

It seems I’m not the only one feeling a bit cynical about Light it up Blue for Autism today.  Especially given the amount of money raised specifically just to light buildings with a blue light, AND doing so is apparently meant to make us autie parents feel better, less alone and the world better informed.

The autie mum in me is all for the Autism Awareness awareness campaign, I really am I WANT to be shaking that tambourine and I usually do.  Last year we raised $600 for autism awareness, but as someone who is always desperately clawing for services seeing money obviously wasted shits me, especially such a large sum (40 grand if you haven’t clicked the links above)  I think we can all come up with at least 20 services that the money could’ve been spent on.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic to see such crowd sourced fundraising enthusiasm for other causes?

Autism awareness campaigns are necessary. I deal with ignorance from somebody every other day, and not just from strangers, friends and family too.  Autism isolates families.  However I have always felt the people that are unaware of what autism means for a family or child, are people that we don’t need to have in our lives.

Here is my symbol of Autism, my four autie babies :) I decided that they need a rainbow instead of being blue, because they’re anything but blue.

My rainbow picture of what autism means to me.

So while the parents of high functioning autie kids get to go to balls and dos tonight, sans kids because they CAN get someone to care for their child.  I hope they spare a thought for us autie parents with kids on the other end of the spectrum, who are sitting at home with their non verbal and incontinent teenagers, scrubbing poop out of the carpet for the third time today.  Put that on a flag and wave it.

If you wish to help out an organisation that provides services for Autism, head to ASPECT and check out their fundraising effort.

Some of you reading will disagree with me, and feel that the blue lights are important, and to those who hold that sentiment I have no doubt it is important. To you.  I don’t take issue that awareness is not important, I just snapped at the cash wasted on brighter lights than those offered.  That 40 grand could have sent a lot tired autie mums to a spa for the day… just saying ;)

To all my friends who lit their facebook pages up blue, wore blue, shared awareness info, had blue lunches, and blue events today, lit their offices windows up blue tonight, I thank each and everyone of you for taking on the cause.  Don’t let my crankiness dampen your enthusiasm, I am really grateful you care.

I will continue my autism awareness campaign right here on my blog, and hope that whatever I spew out into written words can help someone know that they really are not alone, because unlike a blue light you can reach out and contact me.

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by | January 16, 2013

One size fits some…

Recently I found myself afforded a kid free day, so I did what any other mother that has not had time alone for many a moon does. No I didn’t hit the sauce, tempting as that may be.  I went out to get a bra fitting done, which is a massive luxury for me, yeah I know excitement plus.

So I took myself off to our spanky new department store and their very swish bra fitting rooms. I’d chosen a couple of pretty bras before I walked in, in my usual size and a cup smaller.  It’s been years since I’d worn a bra that looked even remotely foxy.  But I’ve lost some weight recently, guess where?  Yeah in the place you’d like it to stay.  The fitting lady comes in and measures me up and declares me to be two cup sizes bigger than the size I normally wear, and a rib cage size smaller.  A 14DD really?! Ok you’re the expert lady.  So I wait topless in the little change room, while she sets out in search of bras that meet my measurements.

She returned with five bras in hand, not one of them could get around me.  As I blush from the boobs up, she whips out the tape just to check she got the measurement right.  Apparently she did.  Perplexed she heads out for more bras, this time she comes back with another five in sizes ranging from 14 to 18.  None of these fit right either.  By now she was looking more embarrassed than me, and confessed that the sizing standard measurements seldom match up to what is on the shelf anymore.

See, this is why clothes shopping is not fun anymore.  Actually I find it to be quite the soul sucking exercise. Despite my arse being a standard australian size 14, I can find myself having to try on sizes 12,14,16,18,20.  In one store a 12 may fit and in another it’s a size 18, and it’s not just clothing.  Last week I was buying shoes for my three year old, and after measuring his little foot with that metal thingy, the assistant gets out shoes in the size and discovered they were an inch longer than his foot!

Getting back to my blushing breasts… Eventually, after an hour trying on fifteen bras, we found one that fitted.  A 16E from the super sized boulder holder section, designed to minimize and definitely not be seen. Well that was fun.

Do men have this problem? I don’t think they do, because if they did there would’ve been a commission by now and an enforced standardized sizing nation wide.  Womens clothing sizes are meaningless, and probably based on an excess supply of labels of a certain size the manufacturer had to get rid of. Or they just make this shit up as they go along.

While I’m complaining about clothing, what is the story with fake pockets on womens clothing?  I bought some jeans recently and went to put some change in the pocket only to discover that they were fake pockets! In jeans?! Who thinks to put fake pockets in jeans, they still had to go the effort of sewing the bit that looks like a pocket.  Why not go the tiny next step, and not sew the opening together? I can understand that a pocket may change the tailored shape of a garment, but if I want to walk around with lumpy bits its my choice.

While I do realize that there are far more pressing issues for women right now, my time is precious and I don’t want to spend it in search of clothing that fits.

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by | November 19, 2012

Get out of the house & you’ll love them more!

I read an article last week that informed me that research showed mothers who went back to work when baby is under six months old, are warmer parents than those who stay at home longer.  Well doesn’t that just tear it.  Stay home too long and we become cold distant mothers, and on top of that we have a higher chance of being distressed about it.

But when you think about it, we really knew this didn’t we.  The reason working mums are warmer to their kids, is because they get to leave the kids for around eight hours a day.  That’s eight whole hours to take a crap on your own, talk to big people and drink HOT damn coffee.  You too would become cold and distant if you haven’t had a warm cuppa in around a year, 0r not spoken to an adult in over six months about anything other than baby puke.  Of course you are going to be warmer and friendlier, when you only have to deal with toddlers tantrums in small doses while enjoying that second income, seriously why did they find that result surprising?

Ok so I may have approached this post somewhat cynically but I have to ask; now that they’ve done the research what will they do with it?  Use it to suggest to the government that stay at home mums must have a weekly excursion to a child free place? And one that isn’t the supermarket at 11pm when you can finally get out of the house alone.  I’m up for that.

Ok, maybe I need to get out more.

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by | August 6, 2012

Going underground.

Without knowing it, I went into hiding.  I had too much to do, and not enough time to do one thing or another for any length of time, so that meant nothing got done.  Things broke down and I was too busy to fix them, things just went to pot.  And the builders are STILL coming and going at my place, annoying me and upsetting our routines no end.

All to often lately I sit down in front of the keyboard ready to write/work/email, and words fail me or the phone rings again.  I’m surprised I got this far into this post really.  Actually between this sentence and that one, I dicked around on Facebook for a minute, broke up a fight, and changed two nappies.

My writing mojo has farted its way out of my brain.  There are a couple of reasons for this, the main culprit is life.  It has to go on and sitting on my arse blogging about it isn’t living it, or getting the dishwasher loaded.  I have had way to much going on.  Still do.  But then what’s new about that.

The other reason is that I can only write when I’m smiling.  I’ve found very few reasons not to do so these past few weeks.  I know we’re supposed to be grateful for all we have, your kids, home, life all that bullshit.  You know the meditation done by people who really have nothing to be sad about but think they do, so off they go looking for the little things in life to be grateful for and post inspirational crap about it on Facebook – you know the ones.  Pffft, walk a mile in my shoes, but I digress…

Our son Austin was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder) a couple of weeks back.  Yeah.  I officially became the parent of four kids who are somewhere along that fun little spectrum called Autism.  That is more than half my children.

I don’t write this here looking for pity.  Actually I really don’t want to hear how sorry anyone is for us, because I know you are, but pity doesn’t help me smile.  Wine and chocolate on the other hand…

I think you’d agree that I sound a little angry, and I am.   I’ll get past it, I usually do.  I may tear a few people a new one along that road however.  Especially those who dare to ask (and I kid you not, this has happened more than once), why did we have so many children if so many of them are turning out to be “this way”?

A question that is completely pointless, what is to be gained from knowing the answer?  I’m not going to justify our decision to have children to anyone, why should I?  ?  I think the question that needs to be asked is, why does one need to know?  Where are you going with this? Are they trying to say this is all my fault for having so many children?  I know a couple of people will read this paragraph and cringe, please know that I bear no ill will you just made a mistake, I just ask you to think about what I have said here for next time you feel the need to ask such a question.  My smartarse answer belied all manner of hurt at the time.   Anyway….

But you all know me, always looking for the bright side of things, and I’m sure there will be one.  I’ll let you know when it becomes apparent ;)

In 40 days I will travel to China.   On.my.own.   For two whole weeks I get to pretend I don’t wipe bums and snot all day, everyday, and may be a functioning adult capable of holding down a real job for all anyone knows.  Boo yeah.   There see, a bright side already.  I might even start a countdown on Facebook ;)

Thanks for hanging in there this far. xx

 

 

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