Tag Archives: Rants

Buttons

I was having one of those mornings, when pushing my buttons is pretty easy.  It’s as if my button is a gigantic bright red one with do not push written all over it, and so what is the first thing you want to do?  PUSH IT!  I decided to use today as a writing day, because I just don’t get to anymore.  Things didn’t quite go to plan, I didn’t get to write what I was supposed to write, but I do have a tale to tell.

By the end of this post I will probably end up curling up in a ball rocking back and forth, but I’ll give it a shot. I have to write something today! I decided to start the day off with a bit of fun for the kids, the idea was to get them tired so that they’d leave me alone.  I took them, on my own (yes all six of them), to the local spring festival.  Usually I’ve got this shit, or so I thought.

I should’ve seen the warning signs when the first tantrum started from the four year old (Mr ‘cry because it gets me things at school‘), because I dared to stop and look at a market stall, we’d only just arrived and already it was on.  We skip the stalls and go and spend the necessary half hour on the play equipment, while they play I spend the time perfecting my apology statements to the parents of other children that may have experienced the wrath of my minions.  Eventually I run out of ideas and we move on to the gates of hell; sideshow alley.  Barely getting past the show bag stand with my wallet intact, and only doing so by distracting the smaller children as we passed.   With faces all painted like cats, we are almost out the other side and on the home straight, when they see it.  The inflatable alter at which all children come to weep, worship and bounce.  The jumping castle.

This ought to round things off nicely I thought. Idiot.

Only little ones were allowed on the castle, however my big thirteen year old autie boy still thinks he is little, and was already taking off his shoes to go on.  The lovely bloke running the ride said to me that he could go on, saying he looks like a gentle giant and shouted him a free go.  Regrets….. I have a few….. Can you hear that song? I can.

On they go, Miss 12 and Mr ’cry because it gets me things at school‘ decided to sit this one out.    As soon as his bottom touched the ground the tears began to fall for the bazillionth time that day, he wanted a lollypop.  Bawling as if I’d branded him and wanting something that I didn’t have either, so I did my best to settle him down.  While I was doing this Autie boy decided to let everyone know just how much he was enjoying the jumping castle, by stripping naked.  Yes you read that right, in front of around 20 people he gets his kit off, and puberty is not being kind to him at the moment.  ALL KINDS OF AWKWARD.

I launch myself into the castle and grab him his clothes and his siblings and drag them out and behind it, throwing my apologies in every direction as I went.  Miss 12 goes into damage control mode, which she has sadly gotten very good at and rounds up all our remaining gear and waits.  Close enough if I need her, but not close enough for people to be sure she is with us.  I wouldn’t come near us either if I was her, geez we’re embarrassing.

Autie boy clothed and shod, I attempt to leave.  That’s when I find Mr 3 standing in the tulips pulling them out, and Mr 4 sitting on a picnic blanket of a strange family eating their food.

And that my friends is the moment I pushed my own big red button.

Tantrum time!

Tantrum time!

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Filed under Complaints Dept, Moments, Rants & Stuff, The Kids, Too Much Information

Disenchanted.

We have started checking out the adoption listings for a new pooch. However this time we are finding that the rescue groups are making it VERY difficult to find a dog, and I’m starting to appreciate why people just go to a breeder.  So far we’ve been told we can’t have a dog because we have kids, we live too far from Sydney (two enormous hours), they can’t come and check out our yard and house, or we don’t have another dog it can play with. All this without knowing anything more about us, other than the contents of an email enquiry form.

Getting disenchanted people.

Last month we lost our pooches, both of whom were adopted doggies and they were the best dogs we’ve ever owned. I thought we could go without a dog in the house for a while, but I’ve discovered I really miss that little presence. We’ve always had a dog around.  I work from home, and as the kids get older and don’t listen to me, I think well at least the dog does but alas.

So I’ve been trawling through the adoption ads, and I can’t find the dog that fits or the one that looks and sounds like they might, or they have conditions on their placement we can’t meet.

That is the whole point of this post really. With so many dogs wanting homes I find the amount of conditions placed on whether or not you give the dog a home, sometimes just too much.

I’ve read too many ads that say the same thing: “Fluffy is a gorgeous little dog that will steal your heart, loves the company of others so you must have another dog (I’ve seen ads that say the dog will not be rehoused as a single dog), is very playful better suited to older children (reads: eats toddlers, needs high fences), working very hard on training so if you could be around the dog 24 hours a day that’d be great” (reads: he still craps on the floor and we can’t keep him in a yard).

I know there are very valid reasons for all this, however I spotted ads for a few dogs that I know have been in foster care for a very long time (two years nearly), could it be all these conditions that are putting people off? Do they want to help these doggies or what?

I’ve given up looking. The continual disappointment is just making me sad. Sorry stray dogs, I just don’t have the ambition to wade through the mountains of ads like the above to find the one we can try to adopt, that is after they come to my house and check it out and decide if I am worthy.  I’m starting to realise why people just buy puppies off gumtree or Facebook.

So here’s the deal.  We have a warm house, fenced yard and good kids. What more do you want? I’ll even let you sleep on my bed.  Here is what I want in an adopted dog. A small adult dog, no preference on the sex.  Indoor loving and outdoor pooping.  Not too evil and yes the dog will have to be a lone wolf, but that’s cool because I’ll be here and I’m a be a lone wolf too.

A bit gutted, because I am always shaking the adopted before buying from a breeder tambourine, and I don’t want people to stop adopting because it is too hard.

UPDATE: Because there are awesome people in the world, things changed… meet Dobby.

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Filed under Complaints Dept, Pets, Rants & Stuff

Today only, an AMAZING deal!

Dear Drivers, I’d like to introduce you to a nifty little gadget.  It’s a one of a kind, why didn’t anyone think of it before sort of invention that makes you wonder how you ever did without it before.

This innovation can save you hundreds or even thousands off your next smash repair bill, because the use of this fabulous little device can help you avoid a smash altogether. But what’s that I hear you say? You have so many buttons to push in your car already, you just don’t know how on earth you could coordinate using another one?  Well I have exciting news for you, this device can be operated with just your pinkie! How effortless is that.I know what your thinking.  Where can I obtain such a marvelous device? And just too excite you even more, for today only you can get two for the price of one.  That’s right, one for the left and right side of your vehicle, and it can be fitted to any kind of vehicle.

But hold your horses, and put down that phone, because you’re not going to believe what I’m going to tell you next.  If you have a vehicle then chances are you already own this amazing invention and didn’t know it!  Head out to your car and hop in the drivers seat and take a look behind the steering wheel, can you see two levers (I know! Where on earth did they come from?! The sales guy never mentioned those things! Maybe they appeared in the last software update?) Push the lever down and you’ll see a flashing light on the dash (it’s ok it is supposed to do that) now hop out and check out the front and back of the car.  How awesome are those matching flashing lights?  Those lights are called indicators and let everyone know where you are going, and it is the done thing to use them when going around corners.

Right now indicators are totally on trend, and now that you’ve got your own fabulous flashing indicators you’ll be on your way in up to date style.  Tell your friends, because everyone will want to know where you found yours.

Still not convinced? Then check out this amazing indicator action below, totally pimps my ride don’tcha think? And I just love to be seen accessorising ;)

Flashing fantastic!

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Filed under Complaints Dept, Rants & Stuff

Feeling blue about Autism

It seems I’m not the only one feeling a bit cynical about Light it up Blue for Autism today.  Especially given the amount of money raised specifically just to light buildings with a blue light, AND doing so is apparently meant to make us autie parents feel better, less alone and the world better informed.

The autie mum in me is all for the Autism Awareness awareness campaign, I really am I WANT to be shaking that tambourine and I usually do.  Last year we raised $600 for autism awareness, but as someone who is always desperately clawing for services seeing money obviously wasted shits me, especially such a large sum (40 grand if you haven’t clicked the links above)  I think we can all come up with at least 20 services that the money could’ve been spent on.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic to see such crowd sourced fundraising enthusiasm for other causes?

Autism awareness campaigns are necessary. I deal with ignorance from somebody every other day, and not just from strangers, friends and family too.  Autism isolates families.  However I have always felt the people that are unaware of what autism means for a family or child, are people that we don’t need to have in our lives.

Here is my symbol of Autism, my four autie babies :) I decided that they need a rainbow instead of being blue, because they’re anything but blue.

My rainbow picture of what autism means to me.

So while the parents of high functioning autie kids get to go to balls and dos tonight, sans kids because they CAN get someone to care for their child.  I hope they spare a thought for us autie parents with kids on the other end of the spectrum, who are sitting at home with their non verbal and incontinent teenagers, scrubbing poop out of the carpet for the third time today.  Put that on a flag and wave it.

If you wish to help out an organisation that provides services for Autism, head to ASPECT and check out their fundraising effort.

Some of you reading will disagree with me, and feel that the blue lights are important, and to those who hold that sentiment I have no doubt it is important. To you.  I don’t take issue that awareness is not important, I just snapped at the cash wasted on brighter lights than those offered.  That 40 grand could have sent a lot tired autie mums to a spa for the day… just saying ;)

To all my friends who lit their facebook pages up blue, wore blue, shared awareness info, had blue lunches, and blue events today, lit their offices windows up blue tonight, I thank each and everyone of you for taking on the cause.  Don’t let my crankiness dampen your enthusiasm, I am really grateful you care.

I will continue my autism awareness campaign right here on my blog, and hope that whatever I spew out into written words can help someone know that they really are not alone, because unlike a blue light you can reach out and contact me.

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Filed under Autism, Rants & Stuff

One size fits some…

Recently I found myself afforded a kid free day, so I did what any other mother that has not had time alone for many a moon does. No I didn’t hit the sauce, tempting as that may be.  I went out to get a bra fitting done, which is a massive luxury for me, yeah I know excitement plus.

So I took myself off to our spanky new department store and their very swish bra fitting rooms. I’d chosen a couple of pretty bras before I walked in, in my usual size and a cup smaller.  It’s been years since I’d worn a bra that looked even remotely foxy.  But I’ve lost some weight recently, guess where?  Yeah in the place you’d like it to stay.  The fitting lady comes in and measures me up and declares me to be two cup sizes bigger than the size I normally wear, and a rib cage size smaller.  A 14DD really?! Ok you’re the expert lady.  So I wait topless in the little change room, while she sets out in search of bras that meet my measurements.

She returned with five bras in hand, not one of them could get around me.  As I blush from the boobs up, she whips out the tape just to check she got the measurement right.  Apparently she did.  Perplexed she heads out for more bras, this time she comes back with another five in sizes ranging from 14 to 18.  None of these fit right either.  By now she was looking more embarrassed than me, and confessed that the sizing standard measurements seldom match up to what is on the shelf anymore.

See, this is why clothes shopping is not fun anymore.  Actually I find it to be quite the soul sucking exercise. Despite my arse being a standard australian size 14, I can find myself having to try on sizes 12,14,16,18,20.  In one store a 12 may fit and in another it’s a size 18, and it’s not just clothing.  Last week I was buying shoes for my three year old, and after measuring his little foot with that metal thingy, the assistant gets out shoes in the size and discovered they were an inch longer than his foot!

Getting back to my blushing breasts… Eventually, after an hour trying on fifteen bras, we found one that fitted.  A 16E from the super sized boulder holder section, designed to minimize and definitely not be seen. Well that was fun.

Do men have this problem? I don’t think they do, because if they did there would’ve been a commission by now and an enforced standardized sizing nation wide.  Womens clothing sizes are meaningless, and probably based on an excess supply of labels of a certain size the manufacturer had to get rid of. Or they just make this shit up as they go along.

While I’m complaining about clothing, what is the story with fake pockets on womens clothing?  I bought some jeans recently and went to put some change in the pocket only to discover that they were fake pockets! In jeans?! Who thinks to put fake pockets in jeans, they still had to go the effort of sewing the bit that looks like a pocket.  Why not go the tiny next step, and not sew the opening together? I can understand that a pocket may change the tailored shape of a garment, but if I want to walk around with lumpy bits its my choice.

While I do realize that there are far more pressing issues for women right now, my time is precious and I don’t want to spend it in search of clothing that fits.

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Filed under Shopping, Too Much Information