Category Archives: Rants & Stuff

Time to mingle.

I decided to get out amongst the humans this week. I figured that working from home for this long can’t be good for me, I think I haven’t worn a skirt for around six months, haven’t needed to. My fashion sense has taken a nose dive, but then again have you seen fashion lately? I don’t think I’m doing that bad really. My people skills are dropping though, if I were to have an office job I’d have to stick a post it note on my desk where I can see it all the time that says: Don’t fart at your desk, you are not alone!

Side topic; when will this hideous left over from the eighties, with a hint of the awkward nineties, flouro pattern splooge fest end?! Us red heads are running out of things to wear! Yes I digress.

So anyways, I went out to meet some humans, having decided to volunteer my time to the gallery that will soon be showing some of my pictures (giggity). Yesterday was my first shift. Sure enough the phone rings at midday, and it’s the school. Insert your choice of annoyed looking emoticon here if you will. Of course it’s the school, it has to be the school, because children are born with this sixth sense that informs them when the mother is about to do something for her own wellbeing. A little alarm rings in the back of their mind ‘quick mum is about do something different, you need in on this’. So I make my excuses, leaving a great first impression on my first day and head to the school.

When the teacher called she mentions that she also needs to have a quick chat with me, and I think we all know how much every parent loves to hear that, am I right? Tells me our town cryer has been unwell today. Can you tell I’m not convinced? Back story, the small ones have discovered that all you have to do to get out of class is make the slightest mention you feel sick. The second those words are uttered a call is put into Mum, drop what you are doing parents the kid is totes dying.

I get there, and I have the chat. Turns out it was a surprisingly good one, for once there was nothing bad to report. Enter the sick bay, because the small dying one was not that sick he couldn’t wait while I had that brief parent teacher interview. He greets me and attempts to conceal a smile, he did not succeed. The average for one of these calls from the school is about once a fortnight, and you should hear how hard the teachers try to convince me it is legit. I take the boy by the hand as he skips out the school gate; “Are we going to the shops now?” ahhh no. Again feel free to add your choice of annoyed emoticon here.

Have you ever encountered this? That road block in the shape of a small child each time you attempt to return to some kind of semblance of your previous professional life? Or is just me that has a big faker in the house?

Of course I know this is what I signed up for when I resigned from my much loved job five years ago, and don’t get me wrong I love that I am able to be at home with the kids, and do all that needs doing for my high need charges. It is a super busy life that we lead, but that said, it is super busy and super boring. Mundane even, and I’m not the first one to say that about this parenting deal.

Mum is bored kids, and she needs to get out more. Trust me it is better for everyone 😉
Anywho, onwards and upwards right guys? Next month people will be paying me to take their pictures, and so help me if the school calls, it had better be from the back of the ambulance.


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Filed under Changes, Complaints Dept, Rants & Stuff, The Kids

What makes me see red…

AS I turned the gas back on this morning to fire up the heater, I noted that we still have a month of summer left.

As a fair skinned red head the season change cannot come soon enough. Sure I love going to the beach, but I prefer it to be overcast so I can spend more than 10 minutes in the sun. Only two per cent of the world’s population has red hair, and most of them live in the northern hemisphere. This may explain a few things about how people react to red heads in the southern hemisphere, I like to call it ‘the red head effect’.

Red heads seem to have an effect on the perceptions of those around them, and we can find examples of this throughout history. In Ancient Greek literature, the philosopher Xenophanes spoke of the blue eyes and red hair of the Thracians. Roman historians described Boudica, the Celtic queen of Iceni, as tall and terrifying with a mass of red hair over her shoulders. Even Homer wrote about red haired mythical characters in the poem The Iliad. It is thought that Judas Iscariot may have been a red head, and is always portrayed as one. If you had red hair during the time of the Spanish inquisition you were accused of having stolen the fires of hell, and you were burned as a witch. Geez, do we get a bad wrap much? Being a red head myself I’ve noticed people respond to you differently, especially if things get a little testy.

Recently I was reminded of this on a road trip, when I stopped to get drive through lunch. There was a hold up in the line, so the driver behind me decided to start shouting at us. I rolled down my window and politely asked… click here to read the full story.

The above is an excerpt from my column that you can find at the Goulburn Post.

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Filed under Goulburn, Media, My Column, Rants & Stuff

Marble Boy

As I type today’s post I am waiting for a surgeon somewhere in the southern region of NSW, to call us back to tell is they can deal with this….

Yep, that’s a marble sitting in the wee mans stomach, and it’s been there ten days. Hasn’t moved one way or the other.

Now I don’t want to get into the saga that our local health providers have put us through, let’s just say the complaint letter will be long, about as long as the wait for hospital admission.

He ate the marble at preschool, another thing that we’re very pleased about. Yeah.

Have your kids eaten anything they shouldn’t have? How long before it came out again?

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Filed under Complaints Dept, Kid Safety, Rants & Stuff, The Kids

Lemme take a selfie!

THE Selfie: noun – A photograph that one has taken of oneself and uploaded to social media. This is the definition that can be found in the Oxford dictionary, for real.

This week we heard the announcement that Kim Kardashian, (no not the aliens from Star Trek, I know I make the same mistake too) is publishing a book of selfies. A 352-page photo essay called Selfish is soon to hit book stores, that’s a picture of Kim for every day of the year. Now for the uninitiated Ms Kardashian is famous for … honestly, I couldn’t figure it out. I looked her up and came up with looking pretty on television being the most probable job description for her, but she was once Paris Hiltons assistant.

The idea of publishing a book full of ones own image, more specifically just snaps you’ve taken on your phone while laying on the beach, to me doesn’t seem like art. Sure, artists have been painting selfies for centuries, it was cheaper than hiring a model to practice on, but still it is art. I’m guilty of the occasional selfie, but I save them for when I’m doing something awesome, you know, like standing on the Great Wall. I believe a selfie at these moments is kind of compulsory, but the day you get a new pair of shoes is not.

A book full of self portraits is not a new thing.  20 years ago Madonna…   Click through to read the whole story here.

The above is an excerpt from my column that you will find in the Goulburn Post.

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Filed under Complaints Dept, My Column, Rants & Stuff, Too Much Information

Turns out, I’m not as clever as Macgyver.

EVERY now and then we should all take a little time out to think about things; to put aside the smart phone and look around. Quite often this is something I don’t have time to do but recently the opportunity arose. I found myself given a moment to stop and consider the big questions from my roof top after my four year old moved the ladder.

As I sat up there for a while sans phone or anything to throw on the neighbour’s roof, I thought of so many things I hadn’t had the chance to ponder before. Things like how was I going to get down and what possible threat I could make that would bring the boy back with the ladder. I wondered what happened to those negotiator skills I used to have and could I fashion some kind of abseiling kit from the television antenna cable?

I know MacGyver would be all over that. Then it hit me…  click HERE to read the whole story.

The above is an excerpt from my column that you can find at the Goulburn Post.

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Filed under Complaints Dept, My Column, Rants & Stuff, The Kids