Did I ever tell you about the time…

Sadly a friend recently lost her cat after being hit by a car, and it reminded me of my unfortunate vehicular run ins with a cat or two.  While I’m not proud of any of them, there is one particular incident that I feel compelled to share, especially for those who enjoy seeing Karma in action.

I was around twenty something and a proud holder of a provisional licence, and owner of a spanky little green hatchback I’d bought myself.   One morning while running so damn late for work I may as well have given up and tried again the next day, I backed out of my parents driveway and zoomed up to the end of my street.  It was at this moment the neighbours cat decided to appear out from under a tree, and dash across the road like lightning and under the wheels he went.  Smooshed, flat.  I couldn’t believe it, I felt terrible.  I scooped him up and went to my neighbours home to tell them, but they were not home.  I couldn’t leave him there on their front step, imagine coming home to that?! God no.  Cradling the dead cat awkwardly trying not to get it on my office wear best, or start breaking out in hives because I am REALLY allergic to cats, now what do I do?

In my addled running really damn late by this point way of thinking, I decided to put the dead cat in a bag and place him in the boot of my car.  Yes I know not the best idea.  To this day I still don’t know why I didn’t just head home and leave him safely at my place.  Off to work I went, dead kitty in the boot wrapped in a Grace Bros bag.  On the way my boss calls and asks me to pick up something from the shops, thankfully she is oblivious to my lateness (turned out she was running even later than I).  Errand done I head back to my car with bags and open up the boot to put it all in (yes with the dead cat).  I decided to rearrange things in my boot and find better packaging for the cat, so I lifted the bag out and sat it on the roof of my car while I hunted around in the boot for something better to contain him.  What was I looking for, a cat coffin? Jayzus.

I rummaged through my car full of crap only a 20 something would have, and was contemplating whether an empty KFC bucket would be good kitty coffin, when a young man sprinted between the rows of parked cars and dashed by me.  He grabbed the bag containing Kitty from the roof of my car and ran off, and he was looking a little triumphant at his bag snatching success.  On instinct I started to give chase and I was two steps forward when my brain gave me and uppercut, what are you doing you moron you’re chasing a guy with a dead cat in a bag?  Well now what to do?  I got my but out of there fast is what I did, beating the boss in by mere minutes. Again not proud of this, and to this day I feel bad about that little cat.

A small part of me wanted to chase the guy just to see him open it.

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One Response to Did I ever tell you about the time…

  1. Amy

    OMG Candy!! Tears today reading this hilarious story, probs wasn’t the best idea to read it at work!!

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