Why didn’t I ask?

Yesterday was RUok Day.  I know that we were supposed to ask our friends and colleagues if they were “OK”, to prevent suicide across Australia by showing that we care.  Right.   The blogging world imploded with posts about it, and I’m really glad that my blogging sisters picked it up and shook their tambourines about it, they needed to be shook.

But the thing is, even though I want to know if you are ok, I don’t have the time to deal with the answer should you say no.   And that is the point of the day, is to get to the issue that no one has the time to deal with. 

Quite often your own ‘stuff’ will not let you add anything to it.   You see where I’m going here?  How do we get past the mountain of busy-ness that is most people lives these days?  It’s all well and good to say everyone can take a moment to stop and ask, but what if all you’ve got is a moment, it defeats the purpose doesn’t it. 

So here’s what I think we need from a campaign like this.  To make it year-long, pop up ads here and there everywhere that put it in your face – have you asked someone if they are ok today?  And at some point in a busy timetable, someone with a spot of time will see it and react.  Even if just one in ten people react and respond, it’s a win.

So that’s why I didn’t ask.  I have enough on my plate to think about, and I didn’t want my asking the question to come across as just a false platitude, because I don’t have the time right now to invest into listening to your response.  And yeah, that makes me sad. 

I also don’t have the time to sit and tell you if I’m ok.  But I am, I’m really really busy, but I’m ok.  Today.

6 Comments

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6 Responses to Why didn’t I ask?

  1. Jemma

    Bless you and yours.

    Like you, I did not ask as did not feel I could adequatly respond to anything other than a positive response.

    It’s not that I don’t care, but the opposite in fact. If I ask, and I don’t give the appropriate time to accomodate the answer, I’m not doing anyone any favours.

    How many times do you hear in conversation “G’day, how Are you?” it’s used more asa greeting than a question. I’m sure the expected response is “Hi, good thanks, and you?”
    I believe the question is often asked in general conversation, but do we really want to hear the honest answer? I don’t think you should ask, if you don’t want the honest answer.

  2. I almost asked you yesterday, as I said before wasn’t sure if it was definatly you, but I guess that shouldn’t have really mattered anyway for the purpose of the day. So I’m sorry I didn’t ask, maybe if I bump into you again I will 🙂

  3. I agree. May God forgive me but if I did ask and they said no I wouldn’t have anyone to help me while I helped them. If only the groups & charities dedicated to Mental Health Awareness and Suicide Prevention had the funding for Swat Teams who could abseil in “Hut Hut Hut!” and take over when an acquaintance needs help. I’ve done it of course- you don’t get to this point in Autism Visibility without people turning to you for help- but I’ve learned to get them help because it’s just too draining to be doing it yourself.

    And uh, yep. I’m ok too. Now move along

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