Oh crap it’s July!

How did it get this far into the year?  June 30 passed by without me noticing, until the Husband presented me with his group certificate a couple of days ago.  Whoops.

Things have been very busy our household these past two weeks, and school holidays have taken their toll.  One more day till school goes back.  Quiet cheer. On Tuesday morning I will emerge from my bunker, in which I have  been curled up in the foetal position for the last four days.   This is because four days ago the weather turned miserable, ok more miserable than usual and the kids can’t go outside.  So we’ve been trapped together in this house for most of the holidays, things have gotten a bit techy. 

So dvd’s on a loop, toys exploding from the toy boxes, cookies and fist fights have been our school holiday activities.  Although there was a couple of SPECIAL days that really stood out for me.  I woke up one morning to find the bathroom cabinet completely painted with toothpaste, every condiment the kids could reach in the pantry either open and split or eaten/drunk, and twenty bucks worth of bananas I had only bought the night before GONE.  A can of baby formula had been sneaked into a bedroom by my big Autie boy, and eaten by the fistful.  Then there was the margarine, who could bring themselves to eat margarine straight from the tub?  The vegie oil was taste tested (insert gagging face here!), but it got ickier – found the seed block from the bird chewed in the boys rooms. Ewww.   All this because the Husband FAILED to lock the pantry after he had fed his head before going to work. 

How do you forget to (over and over) again, to do the same things we have had to do for the last decade, knowing what WILL happen if you don’t?  For the uninitiated; our house is locked up like Fort Knox as our Autie kids like to eat anything and everything constantly, and occasionally do runners.  But anyways…… 

While all this was going on, the clean up and yelling about it, the phone rings.  We finally have an offer (two offers by the end of the day, yay!) on our house.  So I negotiate house prices, while my spawn continue to attempt mass destruction of the house, as you do.

After a while the dust settled, or so I thought and I dared to open the laptop while the kids were watching the Simpsons.  Henry was parked in his bean bag in front of the telly, he was in for the duration all wrapped in his doona.  When Austin appears like a flash brandishing a knife, he’d fished out of the dishwasher I discovered later, runs up and stabs Henry in the back of the head! OMFG. Thankfully the knife didn’t really hit right and Henry was unhurt, can say the same for my heart though.  Jebus.  Austin is only two FFS, how/where did he learn that kind of behaviour?!  Television went off there and then.  I still can’t believe that happened now O_o

The next morning (after berating the Husband), I expected a better performance from all involved.  Well at least no more stabbings, as I have moved all the knives to a higher place.  However, in the absence of an accessible pantry, the kids mischief needs had to be met another way.  So they decided to let the Budgie and Guinea Pig out of their cages, to run free around the house.  Lovely.  It took me an hour to find that tiny bird.  Henry & Georgie wandered into my room at the crack of dawn asking “Where’s bird Where’s pig?”  Yeah like you don’t know kids!

So, as my facebook status update says: You can take these school holidays and shov’em.  Shove them right up there.  Without lubricant.

Husband finally has holidays from work at the end of this week, the first week of school term.  Yeah, like he didn’t plan that. O_o

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