Cocktails at Naptime – The Woefully Inept Guide to Early Motherhood

Welcome to day 21 of Gillian & Emma’s eco friendly Book Tour!

Once upon a time…two mums who really should have been doing housework wrote a book together….they called it “Cocktails at Naptime” and some nice Australian publishers called Finch Publishing laughed out loud when they read it on the train home and thought their readers would laugh out loud too on their trains home, possibly startling some fellow passengers along the way. There are secrets that no baby book will tell you, and stories that no parenting magazine will touch with a set of forceps. Thats a shame because out of postnatal nastiness and the struggle with sleep-deprivation, couch stainage and perineum bruising, comes forth humour lots of it!  Cocktails at Naptime is a laugh-out-loud, utterly realistic examination of all the things that can happen to your mind, your body, your partner and your relatives after the birth of a new baby.    Published by Finch Publishing, Australia   Visit us on

This book is a lot of fun to read. Thanks to Finch Publishing for sending me a review copy.  While reading it I lost count of how many times I found my self thinking: Yes, that is so true! I’ve done that. I’ve been through that. This stuff happened to me too!   It is full of all the rather important little bits of information you mum neglected to tell you, my theory is that grandma values having grandchildren much more than your sanity. 

Just today I was standing at the checkout alone (yes I know, alone!) and ahead of me was a woman with a toddler babbling away at me, feeling fairly amiable – as one does when they are free of their own minions for a brief moment – I returned said toddlers attention and said Hello there (small snot encrusted one).  His mother turns to me and says “If you value your sleep you’ll never have kids”.  Aside from that being a completely unexpected and unnecessary response I realised that here is a mum who is finding out the hard way that parenting is the most tiring, brain draining, physically depleting, libido stealing, repetitive undertaking a person can ever do.   I know, yet I’ve had seven babies.  What the hell is wrong with me?  See, babies do things to your mind. 

So how do we warn others? Helpfully, Cocktails at Naptime has set about giving us a heads up on what we can expect, what to look out for and ways to get around it all.  I particularly loved the section on “Dad Speak”, it is hilarious to see articulated the methods of manipulation I have been using on my spouse for years – so yes that method does work!  Say I want Husband to take the little buggers… I mean cherubs outside and force them to play with someone other than me, I warm him up with “You know it is so great how you are such a hands on Dad, my girlfriends are always complaining about their husbands ditching the kids”.  Followed with “I think Henry wants you to push him in the swing outside Dear”.   Works like a charm.  Another good tactic while I’m on it, is to start flicking through the phonebook when you need a job done and he has failed to get around to it, that gets his butt off to the hardware shop fairly quick.  Apparently hiring a professional makes them feel like less of a man or some crap like that. (I care about his feelings really I do).

Anyway back to the book.  Well written and an easy read, I laughed out loud on every page.  The back story to this book is rather unusual, the authors have never met in real life, can you believe that.  It is also somewhat scary when you think about it, if this is what they can pull off without having to be in the same room – imagine what else they may be capable of 😉  Find out more about how this all came together by heading to Gillian & Emma’s blog.  An excellent gift for your new mum friends, particularly when she hits that magic six-week post-natal mark and all of her preconceived ideas about motherhood have been completely thrown out the window (Defenestrated! Yeah!  Sorry, just me enjoying using a big kid word – hehe). Don’t give it to her beforehand, as she will be in that hormonal pre-baby glaze stage where everything WILL be just perfect once baby arrives.  That is as long as she gets the right drapes for the nursery and the must have pram of the moment, one look in this book will have said Mamma to be declaring the authors insane.  Just what are these women on about? Babies are beautiful and our bodies were made to bring them into the world, pfffft.  So, like I said, tie the book to a bottle of Snapps and leave it on her doorstep six weeks post the arrive of the precious snot encrusted one. 🙂  

Get the book here.


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5 Responses to Cocktails at Naptime – The Woefully Inept Guide to Early Motherhood

  1. Very entertaining and down to earth review! I loved your take on this 🙂

  2. Greg

    Having just had a baby son arrive into our lives a few months ago I think I will get this book for my wife – she is feeling a bit trapped and isolated now – but has started getting out and seeing other mothers and having coffee and going to ‘babes-in-arms’ movie days (good onya Greater Union!) – but nothing and no-one I know beats you with 7 – 3 of which have ASD! So in actual fact – good onya you!

  3. Cate

    Great review. And 7 kids??? Holey moley girl!! :-0

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