Babies make you buy crap.

I have spent my day putting stuff into storage in an effort to make our house look suitably presentable to potential buyers.  But then I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t be dazzled by the minefield of toys that having so many children creates? It is often spectacular.

But I have worked out something today.  Babies make you buy crap.  Expensive crap.  Crap you will probably never even use.  I know this not just because I have had seven babies and now know that there is really a limit to what some of these marvelous baby contraptions can do, but as I a pack up my house to put it on the market I am encountering mountains of stuff we either bought or got given and discovered that some things were crap or got no use at all because they were pointless.

Here’s a few examples of useless crap we acquired that is now off to charity.

  • A safety co-sleeping bed, it’s a little tiny baby bed that you put in the middle of your own bed and you and husband are supposed to sleep on either side of it.  How you are going to fit two people in the bed once you have baby in the middle is beyond me.  Husband will have to move out.  Or better yet I will. ;)
  • A dozens of baby mittens – what do people think babies are going to be doing to need this many mittens.  And I have not bought any of them.  The little buggers only suck them and you have to take them off because they are cold and wet.
  • A dummy sterilizer – yeah because I have the time and space to do this separately.
  • Chopsticks for children – they have a hard enough time getting the food into their mouths using their hands, how well do you think toddler chopsticks are going to go? Somebody will lose an eye.
  • Toddler sized oven mitts – I kid you not.  I am assuming the idea was for me to do the motherly thing and let the kids cook with me, but I question the sanity of a mother who would allow her toddler to touch a hot oven, even with mitts on.
  • Several hundred teddy bears. Nuff said.
  • A thingy that super cools a baby bottle really quickly, you should see this contraption.  In the time it would take to set it up I could have walked to the freezer, got out an ice cube, popped it in the bottle and fed the baby.

I could list so much more I really could, but I shall stop and just be thankful that a wipes warmer isn’t among that list eh?  Now there is a pointless piece of baby equipment if I ever saw one!  You see what babies do to peoples brains and wallets?! They make us make stupid shopping decisions.

It has felt good to shake off a lot of ‘stuff’ today, packing things up carting them away.  I even managed to giveaway husbands old car today, awesome.  I still can’t believe how much we have accumulated over such a short period of time.  It is Henry’s (future dark overlord) birthday is next week and now that I’ve gone through all the toys I have no clue what to get the kid, as I don’t want to get more stuff.  And it’s not like a three-year old will appreciate clothes.

So to that end, who has birthday present ideas for a little man that has everything?

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