Things that happen when you go to the bathroom… not what you might think.

It’s not just the obvious stuff that goes down while you are indisposed, if you know what I mean. 

A lot can happen in those meager moments that a Mother has alone.  Here’s a few examples of what goes on around here when I take a ‘moment’.

  • The children suddenly decide they are ravenous and start bringing you items of food to open while you are ‘indisposed’.
  • Or they decide to feed themselves and break a dozen eggs on the kitchen floor, they then track the sticky raw egg all through the house in an effort to find mummy first so they can dob on each other.
  • A small child almost always gets hold of the most breakable or precious item you own, race into the bathroom and waves it at you (just out of reach) and takes off, and always at that moment where you just can’t stand up straight away and grab it.
  • They will get hold of their older sisters markers and draw all over any paperwork you may have left sitting anywhere. Sorry Mr Taxman that big ass scribble on my last lodgement really isn’t what I think of you… much.
  • If they don’t draw on paperwork they will draw on the walls, and even the front of the fridge.
  • They will turn on all the hot plates on the stove top, even if you have a gate on your kitchen which you KNOW you closed and latched before attempting to have a moment.
  • The children will attempt to make their escape outdoors.  Especially if you need a longer ‘moment’ than usual, and it is raining outside.
  • Toddlers will disembowel your purse and secrete the contents in their toy box, seldom noticed till you are at the shops and you open up – an empty purse.
  • And if all else fails they will come into the bathroom and watch you. But at least you know what they’re up to. 

I could go on.  I’ve considered some kind of penning set up for them so I can go to bathroom without the worry of the house being torched in my absence, but it seems that they are getting way too clever.  Maybe a need to throw a heap of lollies in the air in the middle of the lounge room and dash to the loo during the rumble that will follow.  Would tethering them to something be out of the question?  I just can’t hold ‘it’ all day until another responsible adult enters the fray.  I use the term responsible very loosely.

What have your kids done while you’ve been busy?

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