Things that happen when you go to the bathroom…

It’s not just the obvious stuff that goes down while you are indisposed, if you know what I mean. 

A lot can happen in those meager moments that a Mother has alone.  Here’s a few examples of what goes on around here when I take a ‘moment’.

  • The children suddenly decide they are ravenous and start bringing you items of food to open while you are ‘indisposed’.
  • Or they decide to feed themselves and break a dozen eggs on the kitchen floor, they then track the sticky raw egg all through the house in an effort to find mummy first so they can dob on each other.
  • A small child almost always gets hold of the most breakable or precious item you own, race into the bathroom and waves it at you (just out of reach) and takes off, and always at that moment where you just can’t stand up straight away and grab it.
  • They will get hold of their older sisters markers and draw all over any paperwork you may have left sitting anywhere. Sorry Mr Taxman that big ass scribble on my last lodgement really isn’t what I think of you… much.
  • If they don’t draw on paperwork they will draw on the walls, and even the front of the fridge.
  • They will turn on all the hot plates on the stove top, even if you have a gate on your kitchen which you KNOW you closed and latched before attempting to have a moment.
  • The children will attempt to make their escape outdoors.  Especially if you need a longer ‘moment’ than usual, and it is raining outside.
  • Toddlers will disembowel your purse and secrete the contents in their toy box, seldom noticed till you are at the shops and you open up – an empty purse.
  • And if all else fails they will come into the bathroom and watch you. But at least you know what they’re up to. 😉

I could go on.  I’ve considered some kind of penning set up for them so I can go to bathroom without the worry of the house being torched in my absence, but it seems that they are getting way too clever.  Maybe a need to throw a heap of lollies in the air in the middle of the lounge room and dash to the loo during the rumble that will follow.  Would tethering them to something be out of the question?  I just can’t hold ‘it’ all day until another responsible adult enters the fray.  I use the term responsible very loosely.

What have your kids done while you’ve been busy?

13 Comments

Filed under Moments, Rants & Stuff, The Kids

13 Responses to Things that happen when you go to the bathroom…

  1. You need to work on your pelvic floor … just sayin’

    PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    (Because it’s not me … this time!)

  2. Hmmm, maybe an indwelling foley catheter would be a solution? Imagine how fashionable you’d be with a bag of urine on your leg!

  3. When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. Your story is totally believable and whether intended or not?? it is funny too. And you do need to keep your sense of humor! I was the eldest of seven (in 10 years) and I am thinking “ooooh my poor mother!”

  4. Funny!

    Oh, I feel your pain all right. Although I only have three kids, they do the work of ten when I’m out of the room. I wrote a post about it once: http://notdrowning.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/never-leave-the-room/

    Your ‘lollies in the air’ trick is brilliant. The only problem I can potentially see with it is if the kids eat them too quickly and their antics become sugar-fueled… Perhaps keep a fire hydrant in the bathroom just in case.

    • Going to the shops today, maybe if I stick the lollies inside a piniata (how do you spell that?) that’ll distract them for longer? Or will they just take to each with the sticks? I think the later.

  5. Nat

    My one year old ate a whole small pack of sultanas. Something like ten poos in 24hours. Not a good idea.

  6. Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

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    Christian, iwspo.net

  7. My baby girl emptied a bottle of Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup all over the light beige carpet. There’s still a nice dark swirly pattern in the living room. I’m constantly renting carpet cleaners. I think it’s time I just buy my own.
    Hilarious post.

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