Listen, about your cat…

I must have something stamped on me somewhere. Something that attracts trouble and weirdness to me?

I was doing the school run this morning, and was heading home with the three little ones when a cat decides to commit suicide under my car. Quick as lighting the bugger just leap from the bushes on the side of the road and wham, into the side of my car. Clearly this cat did this on purpose, why wait till a car is coming along to whip across a road? I am pretty sure the road ahead and behind me would have remained carless for some time, why not use those moments. Definately a suicidal cat.  I thought that I saw the cat duck off into the bushes in the mirror behind me, so I didn’t stop to check on the cat, yes I know bad mummy. But I could see nothing on the road behind me.  And with no houses in sight I figured maybe it was a  wild cat. I thought it had come off unscathed. It seems I was wrong. The good news is I didn’t leave it in agony on the side of the road…

I drove on cursing the stupid suicide cat and hoping it hadn’t damaged the car. I get home and unload the babies from the car and all but forget about it. Till around two hours later. I notice my car (well its a bus actually) was attracting the attention of the local Magpies. They were having a bit of a brawl under my car. I shoo them away and investigate under the car, and OH MY GOD what do I spy.  A dead cat hanging from the undercarriage of my car. Vomit.  And as a bit of an indicator as to how evil my personality must be, and I’m not proud of this, my first thought was: fucking great now I have evidence to get rid of!  My second thought was: Ah shit the cars got to be checked for registration this afternoon! Third thought: Awww poor kitty cat.  So I have buried the cat out in the back paddock, I think it was a wild cat it looked a bit underfed and mangy, and we do get a lot of them around here.  And that’s what I’ll keep telling myself about the suicidal cat, yes he was a wild cat. Until I see a poster for it being lost, then I will fess up. Stupid cat. Sorry cat.

 Just once I’d like an uneventful day.

Sorry cat.

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