Senior Citizen Basic Training Camp

I’ve dragged this over from an old journal (Dec09), just for keeps – enjoy 🙂 I will probably drag lot’s more over in time.

Senior Citizens’ – there is a reason they are called that.

I used to work in a shop, many moons ago, and in that time I saw some fairly scary senior citizen shenanigans when it came to bargain shopping.  But the one thing they always did, that must be in senior citizen basic training, was pushing into checkout lines. 

I had forgotten about this little trick of the nanas’ till today, when the stunt was pulled on me. Unfortunately for this nana she did it to a heavily pregnant and hormonal woman, with too many kids in tow, and an appointment to meet.

I was standing in the twelve items or less aisle where the line is not quite as defined as it should be, shopping basket resting on my enormous belly, standing on the feet on one kid to stop him doing a runner for the lolly aisle, and holding on to a toddler with my free hand. A nana chose this moment to edge into the line in front of me.

You know how they do it; they just wander aimlessly in from the side not looking in your direction. Then they stop and wait a few seconds, and then start shuffling in to the spot inch by inch, it’s as painful as watching them try to park their Holden Cruz in a space that could fit three of the buggers (but I digress).

Then there is that moment where you eventually catch their eye and the nana will simper something at you like; “Oh were you first?”   Knowing full well that you are not going to call them on it, really who is going to tell the frail nana that they can’t go first? Don’t be fooled, they know exactly what they are doing. 

So when this nana looks up at me, and says “Oh dear where you first”, meanwhile loading her stuff on the checkout belt.  The steaming mad heavily pregnant harassed mother says; “Yes, yes I was and you just pushed in front of me. But that’s okay; if I go into labour right here because this line is really slow you will know what to do won’t you?” 

Now don’t get me wrong but, don’t you just love it when a person is so gob smacked they just stand there and open and close their mouth like a goldfish?  Yeah, I do too.  And let’s face it, I could have been a lot ruder, I’m not even going to begin to tell you what I imagined doing to the woman mentally… 

This incident reminded me of something I observed yet another crafty Nana doing a while ago…  I was doing the groceries and was in the socks and stocking aisle, and there was this Nana checking out the pantyhose. She had a bulk three pack in her hand, you know the cheap orange kind, and she was opening it up. After checking them out by stretching them over her hand they seemed to meet her approval. She then put that (open) package back on the shelf and picked up another packet, exactly the same but sealed and put it in her basket.  Another customer and I were casual observers to this, and I couldn’t help myself I had to ask “Excuse me, but what was wrong with the first packet?” Quick as a flash the Nana says “Someone’s opened it up already!” The customer behind me muffled a cackle or two. What could I say to that? She clearly had it all worked, all I could say was “oh dear” and move on, leaving the Nana behind who was opening yet more packages of knee hi’s. 

One day I hope to be this diabolical.

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