The Deed is done.

As the title says; the deed is done.

I went into hospital a couple of days ago and had my tubes tied.

That’s it. No more babies for me. As I type a nine week old infant is squawking away fighting off sleep next to me, another kid is throwing a tantrum in his cot and a toddler is hitting me with food (probably should feed her), so I’m thinking I can cope without more of that don’t you? 

It was a very nerve-racking experience for me. And I discovered that there are a lot of things I don’t know about having surgery. Starting with the surgical fashion wear, the usual green hospital gown was slightly more complicated, with press studs all over it, so that it can be popped off in different ways I am assuming. Then they give you a set of feet and hair baggies to wear, so far so good.  And then they give you the pants. I had no idea about these things, they were made of this sheer papery fabric and were essentially just a gusset that tied up at each hip, and they were HUMUNGOUS to me they looked like something Fred Flintstone would have probably worn under his dinosaur skin dress.

I’ve never had an anesthetic before, and I was expecting the room to go all fuzzy and voices to become distant like when you faint, but it was instantaneous! I was wheeled into the theater hoisted on to a table with big scary stirrups on it, I managed to get a look around the room before I was knocked out. I saw the equipment they intended to use during the operation, this was not the best thing for me to do, I really shouldn’t have looked and saw that big claw arm thing. I briefly wondered how the hell they were going to fit that anywhere and then I was out, waking up what seemed like minutes later in recovery.  I woke up very dishevelled, on my side under an oxygen mask and unable to swallow. That was the only complication that I know about, they had got some of the local anesthetic on  the tube they used down my throat accidently and until it wore off I couldn’t swallow water at all, quite a bizarre feeling.

So here we are two days post op, and oh my god I am sore and bruised.  I thought I’d be a bit more upset by the enormity of what I’ve just been through, and the fact that I can’t have any more babies. But really I’m just pissed off that it hurts so much! Somebody send me chocolate.

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