Lucy was born on the 6th of November 2000 in Penrith Hospital. The labour started off at around 5am, with me getting up early thinking I had a belly ache. After leaning over the ottoman for an hour or two while watching some evangelist on tv, I decided it wasn’t a belly ache and woke hubby up. Till this point I was doing okay with the pain and really thought that I was a long way off having baby. Once in the car I found myself not able to tolerate sitting in the seat, and was holding my butt up in the air off the seat every thirty seconds or so as we drove, I nearly got out of the car when we stopped at the lights! Thankfully we only lived five minutes from the hospital. Hubby dropped me at the door to A&E while he found somewhere to park the car. I was standing there panting away when I was hit by an urge to squat with the next contraction, but I managed to fight the urge off.
I worked at this hospital at this time and it was shift start time for a lot of people I knew, so there I was panting away trying not to squat, nodding and exchanging pleasantries with co-workers – who had decided that now, yes right there and then was a fantastic time to share their experiences with me. And while they were jumping up and down with excitement as my next contraction started, I was dry retching into the gutter. Thankfully hubby appeared and we made the slow shuffle into the hospital, as I had to pause every half a minute and hug the wall. We finally get to the delivery suite, I love how they call them suites, there might be a spa but that’s about the end of the luxury – you ain’t going to be lazing around in bubbles sipping champers in it.
And would you credit it, another co-worker from my own department was there in early labour. It was around 7.10am by now, and I was feeling pretty damn anxious by now, the midwives were being excruciatingly slow in sorting a room out for me (they probably weren’t, but you can think of a lot of nasty things in 30 seconds), meanwhile my co-worker was happily panting her way through her contractions was excitedly nattering away at me. Little did she know how much more time she was to spend doing that… sorry little bit of Schadenfreude creeping in there?
Delivery room finally found, I am levered up on to bed so the midwife can check out where I up to, it is at this point of my labour that the scene in the room dramatically changed. Hubby likens it to a scene from the movie Men in Black (you know the one where the alien gives birth in the car?). Turns out babies head was right there ready to go and the membranes that hadn’t ruptured were poking out like a water filled balloon. Lucky for this midwife she had kitted up in a big plastic apron and safety glasses, because the second she touched the membranes they exploded with an audible pop and sprayed the room and drenched the midwife. I felt the pop and a sudden wham and out shot Lucy, so quick the midwife nearly missed catching her. I opened my eyes at this point to see a snickering husband and a midwife trying to wipe the gunk off her head, at the same time finishing off the delivery. Ever the helpful one am I, I said to her, “You’ve got a little something… just there” – pointing out gunky bits on her neck. I recall someone saying thank god that didn’t happen in the car. Little did I know that in subsequent labours I would hose the delivery room again (and again).
After having such a quick delivery I did go into a bit of a shaking shock, but rallied and was allowed to go home in time for dinner. Lucy was such a fair skinned little baby, she was as white as snow (still is) born with steely grey blue eyes and hair so blonde you couldn’t see it. She weighed 3100 grams and measured 51cms long, arriving at 7.25am.
Incidentally my coworker eventually had her little boy at the same time… the next day. I heard from staff later that she spent the later part of her labour cursing my name.